Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Live Blog of Patterson the Great's return

TOP 1: no on, 1 out. Hairston only saw 3 pitches. Corey needs to work the count so Bruce can see what Myers has. Swings at the second pitch trying to pull it for a homer. Barely flies past first for an easy out. Thanks for helping the kid out by watching all of one pitch before taking a horrible swing. I swear I think he has no idea how to play baseball. He doesn't understand working the count not just for yourself, but for the rest of the team. Then again he was brought up under Dusty Baker so he was too busy learning to bunt runners over, get caught stealing, and not clog the bases. I hate Corey and Dusty. The should both be sent packing to this team. Give me a shot.

TOP 4: No on, 1 out. Myers is dealing. We need to work his pitch count so he can't go the entire game without giving up a hit. He needs to get tired so we can score. Work the count like Bruce did last time when he saw 6 pitches. Patterson swings AT THE FIRST PITCH! The second baseman never moves. Another great way to show Bruce what pitches Myers has. This is insane. I can do what he did; watch one pitch, swing at the next 2. #&@* the heck! Give me another shot.

TOP 6: No on, 2 out. Still no hits. Wait for your pitch or at least see 3 strikes. First pitch swinging. Lazy pop fly all the way to the shortstop. I have nothing else to say other than he is the worst player ever. I can barely stand up at this point. Another shot.

TOP 8: man on first and second, 1 out. Need to avoid the double play. Takes the first then fouls off 2. Now he can't bunt them over. That is what he should have done. He is going to get out anyway why not do what he is good at and advance the runners. Strike out on a pitch 3 feet down and away. The on deck batter dodged because it almost hit him. Good thing Patterson swung at it. I just threw up on the keyboard. Now I need a new r, s d, f e and c key. One more shot. Where did that dog go? My feet need a workout.

GAME OVER: Thanks to the 24 year old Joey Votto and Edinson Volquez, and no thanks to the terrible, 28 year old, .195 hitting Corey Patterson the Reds won 2-0. I am off to pass out. I think I have an inner ear infection because I keep running into things. O well I will deal with it tomorrow.


Gritty said...

I think the Royals' Tony Pena Jr. has Patterson beat, but this log certainly reads like one of his at bats.

Good stuff, FDB.

AnswermethisMarc said...

What about Patterson being ranked as the top CF defensively according to plus/minus (a rating of how many plays he would make above the average fielder)? I mean you are tossing around statistics here