Monday, May 26, 2008

Jorts or Jean Shorts

Not sure which to call them. I prefer jean shorts because it sounds more formal which juxtaposes the informalness for which they were designed. I can't help but smile when I see people wearing them and feel they have made a resurgence recently. That is why this post is dedicated to them. I will not mention my favorite Red went 0-8 in a single game lowering his average to .201 and never reached base while Dusty threw our young ace on one day rest. That makes me mad. Jean shorts always make me happy. Here are some styles to choose from:

CUTOFFS
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These are easy to make by cutting off the legs of jeans you no longer want. It also
allows the wearers to vary the length of the frays at the bottom. I prefer long frays because they blow in the wind and tickle your legs. The problem with cutoffs is they can't be worn to church or a state fair beauty pageant as formal jean shorts.

ROLLED LEGS
http://soupytrumpet.com/uploads/2008/03/favre_jean_shorts.jpg

Great for a draft party in Mississippi. More formal then the frays and also bring the leg up to show off more skin. The white jean shorts are also a plus because they go well with pale white skin. These tell people you know you are wearing jean shorts but don't want to get any nice ones so I will just clean up my cutoffs.

CARPENTER
http://riverroadjeancompany.com/rrjc/components/com_virtuemart/shop_image/product/5fafae93c6aa5003cb98c449a28c68e6.jpg

These are for the occasion when you are working with your hammer or drill and need some place to put it while I drink your beer. They can also be worn to a bar because they show chicks you are handy and they dig that. These are not quite formal but a step up from cutoffs.

FORMAL
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These jean shorts say "I went to the store, tried these on, and they look good." The frays and rollups can be old jeans you cut off. These say I knew they were jean shorts and these are what I wanted. Can be worn to your best outdoor concert, church picnic, or photo shoots.

In sum, jean shorts are a wonderful creation and provide me with tons of entertainment. Whatever style you chose, just wear them with pride because you are telling the world you love denim, even if it makes me look ridiculous.

1 comment:

Gritty said...

Hilarious article. I stopped wearing jean shorts when i became socially aware. That might have been 1997 or so.

Anyway, we have a couple relevant articles over at Gritty & Clutch that you guys (and fellow Dusty Baker haters) would enjoy.

We take the piss out of him here:
http://grittyandclutch.blogspot.com/2008/05/archaeologists-unearth-ongoing-reds.html
http://grittyandclutch.blogspot.com/2008/05/it-had-to-happen-eventually.html

Keep up the great work guys.
Gritty