The Official Fire Dusty Baker Drinking Game!

CHICAGO--With the 2005 season all but officially over, and with Cubs fans around the world tearing out their hair and rending their garments, lamenting another wasted season, we here at "Fire Dusty Baker!" took a different approach. We now devote our time to playing the official Fire Dusty Baker Drinking Game! The rules are as follows:

1. Dusty puts in Hollandsworth as a late-inning defensive replacement--THREE DRINKS
2. Even with Nomar available, Dusty finds a way to get Neifi F. Perez into the game--FIVE DRINKS
3. Dusty says the word, "Dude"--ONE DRINK
4. Dusty uses Jose F. Macias as the first pinch-hitter in a game--FIVE DRINKS
5. Dusty forces a Cubs starter to throw more than 130 pitches in a meaningless game--FIVE DRINKS
6. Dusty "argues" a close call by staring at the umpire's crotch and shaking his head, then clapping his hands together and walking back to the dugout--FIVE DRINKS
7. Dusty actually starts one of the young players called up in September--TEN DRINKS
8. Dusty uses one of the following cliches: "Battle through it," "It's a long season," or "These guys are playing hard"--FIVE DRINKS
9. You are so drunk, you actually understand one of Dusty's interviews--THREE DRINKS
10. Dusty makes a blatantly racist comment, but masks it with his own stupidity--TEN DRINKS
11. Dusty puts in a righty reliever that can't get out righties, or a lefty reliever that can't get out lefties, or vice-versa--THREE DRINKS
12. Dusty fails to get the bullpen up in time to avoid a big inning--THREE DRINKS
13. Bob Brenly out-manages Dusty from the broadcast booth--FIVE DRINKS
14. You actually wish that Tony LaRussa was managing the Cubs instead of Dusty--TWO DRINKS
    
15. Ron Santo calls Dusty "The fine manager of the Chicago Cubs"--FIVE DRINKS
16. Darren sits on Dusty's lap during the post-game interview after a loss--THREE DRINKS
    

Enjoy!