Saturday, April 23, 2005


I'm too furious to even make this funny or satirical.

Just when I thought Dusty couldn't even get dumber, he astonishes me yet again today. Jason Dubois is having a great game, probably the only bat worth a damn. Jason is due up, and a right-hander is pitching. Dusty, having read Baseball for Dummies by Joe Morgan, knows that right-handed hitter vs. right-handed pitcher = bad news. So Dusty, in his infinite wisdom, replaces the hot bat of Dubois, with the bat of the worst hitter in Major League Baseball, Jose Macias.

By dummies, for dummies.

Now, while this is going on, Lloyd McClendon (a dumbass manager in his own right), has a left-hander warming up in the pen. So common sense dictates that if Dusty replaces Dubois with a lefty (or in this case, a switch-hitter who sucks ass no matter which way he hits), that McClendon is just going to trot out a left-handed pitcher. Which is what exactly happens. End result, of course, Macias grounds out on the 1st pitch, and Dubois and Cubs fans cry.

"Don't worry about me skip! I'll suck ass no matter what the situation!"

So even going the traditional route, Dusty is a dumbass. But that's not the point. The point is that it's moronic to even bench Dubois in the first place. Dubois is a very good hitter. Dubois CAN hit right-handed pitching. He's proven that in his minor-league career. Why Dusty refuses to let this guy see right-handed pitching is mind-boggling. Dubois's left-handed platoon partner, the inferior Todd Hollandsworth, gets to see all the left-handed pitching his heart desires, even though Dubois, a lefty-killer, is anxiously waiting on the bench to win the game for his beloved Cubbies. But no, since Hollandsworth is 'proven', he's allowed to face lefties.

Such moronic nonsense.

And that's not even bringing up Dusty continuing to trot out LaTroy Hawkins for those important 1-run saves.



Serena said...

My mind is still boggled by the Macias AB.

Joel R. said...

The Macias at bat is the pinnacle of Dusty's managing futility. His days are numbered.